Admonished

In Legal Ethics, we have learned the differences between court’s actions like Disbarment, Suspension, Warning, Reprimand and Admonition. Admonition is a friendly and gentle reproof. A mild rebuke. And just this morning  I happen to be admonished by Abba.

I don’t want to dwell more on this story because it is not something to brag about or worthy to be detailed. So during last night’s after-finals party I drank my first three shots of Tequila. Blame the lemon I say.

I drank not because of peer pressure (I’m not really the type of person who is easily swayed by this). I drank because I wanted to.

It is not because I have a problem or anything. I just wanted to.

I just wanted to be filled by that awful tasting but warm alcohol and to rewardingly suck a lemon with salt afterwards as I would do with a piece of cake and a shot of super strong espresso. I wanted the balance of the opposites (if ever such thing exists). It was more  gastronomically motivated rather than the usual I-have-a-problem  or we’re-going-to-second-year-celebration motive.

Whatever my main reason was it will not justify that I still drank and a brother in faith was watching. I now feel disgusted.

This morning, verses come flowing in my mind such as:

I have the right to do anything,” you say–but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”–but I will not be mastered by anything. (1 Corinthians 6:12)

Basically what is written is not to get drunk and I was not but

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.  (1 Corinthians 6:19)

My desires are not my own anymore. I should have subjected that seemingly innocent desire to my standards.

I was feeling the Spirit last night. It’s not that there is a big burden in my heart as if I have committed a much greater sin. Small sin or big sin, it’s still a sin. I just felt that he’s silent.

I asked for forgiveness from God upon realising what I did. He let me remember. The Holy Spirit spoke to me.

Lastly, His admonition:

And he said to the human race,
    โ€œThe fear of the Lordโ€”that is wisdom,
    and to shun evil is understanding.โ€

(Job 28:28)

I have now understood.

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