I have lost count already of the number of times I have deactivated my major social media accounts – Facebook and Twitter. Instagram has no deactivate feature and I cannot afford to lose my precious IG baby.
It is for the reason that I have to technically “avoid” a person. Total avoidance is not really possible since that person still knows my number. However, I have to start somewhere. What I am trying to fix is the regularity and somewhat the comfortableness we share in constant communication. This thing has given me that wanting feeling to be in the know of that person’s life. Despite the fact that I can resist sending the first PM, that person still messages me in his regular manner. AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT – what is wrong is what it is doing to me.
Our relationship is very clearly labeled. It is as clear as the sun. I have no problem recognising and accepting it. I made it to be like this. However, there is a thought that causes me to be irritated to myself. I hate that thought. I despise it. I don’t know if this is somewhat the result of my natural human feelings or the prompting and lies of the devil. Either way, this thought has to stop because it is getting in the way of the fellowship that the two of us has to have in a very pure way.
I need to clear my head and heart. I do not want to face that person with this kind of thought that taints our relationship. I have to offer genuineness and not a second-rate friendship with a floating unsure motive behind it. I want to face this person with honesty and not with some hidden “agenda”.